Who? me?

I can’t tell you how much I love the story of Gideon. Such an unlikely hero. We’ve already looked at the setting in which Gideon finds himself (see here). It’s the very setting into which the LORD steps…

The Angel of the LORD came, and He sat under the oak that was in Ophrah, which belonged to Joash, the Abiezrite. His son Gideon was threshing wheat in the winepress in order to hide it from the Midianites. Then the Angel of the LORD appeared to him and said: “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”

Judges 6:11-12 Holmans Christian Standard Bible

Or as the English Standard Version says, “O mighty man of valor.”

Gideon said to Him, “Please Sir, if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened? And where are all His wonders that our fathers told us about? They said, ‘Hasn’t the LORD brought us out of Egypt?’ But now the LORD has abandoned us and handed us over to Midian.”

The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and deliver Israel from the power of Midian. Am I not sending you?”

He said to Him, “Please, Lord, how can I deliver Israel? Look, my family is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father’s house.”

Judges 6:13-15 HCSB

Can you see the “who? me?” in this dialogue? I’m convinced one of the main reasons we answer God with “who? me?” when He calls us is unbelief. Did you catch what the Angel of the LORD said first when He appeared to Gideon? He said, “The LORD is with you…” I think Gideon missed this. I think his circumstances was all he could see… our fathers told us You could do all of these miraculous things but look at us? This enemy swarms in on us time and time again and they leave us with nothing. If You’re an all-powerful God then You must have abandoned us for this to happen… He didn’t believe God was with him.

Another reason we respond with “who? me?” is that we are painfully aware of our own inadequacies. We are all too aware, often consumed, by the places where we have fallen short or don’t measure up and we make for ourselves places to hide. For Gideon, it was a winepress. For me, it’s often been the word “fine”, or a forced smile when I’m crying on the inside, or a life that looks pretty – if you don’t look too close. For years, it was hiding a broken, scared little girl behind an attempt to be superwoman. We know our inadequacies.  It’s unbelief and the awareness of our inadequacy measured against the circumstances around us that cause us to fear. And at times, I have lived desperately afraid.

Nothing of what could be seen supported what the LORD called Gideon.

“The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor.”

He’s hiding in the winepress, doubting the LORD’s faithfulness, feeling abandoned, of the weakest family, and the least likely of even that. That’s all true but it’s lower case ‘t’ true. It was only his truth. Beth Moore, in the study Breaking Free, lays this out so well.

environmental influences + experiential influences = my truth

my truth + 0 = INCOMPLETE (distorted by selective memory/our own perception)

my truth + the enemy’s lies (you’ll never be enough, free, God wouldn’t possibly call you) = CAPTIVITY

God’s Truth > my truth

my truth + God’s Truth = FREEDOM! (to obey, to be me)

Can I tell you something that I find very comforting? God was okay with Gideon asking questions. There is no rebuke as Gideon expresses his truth to God. Gideon lays it out before the LORD as he sees it. I can almost hear the LORD saying, yes, I know that’s how it feels right now but you’re missing one very key thing, so I’ll say it again…

“But I will be with you…”

Judges 6:16a

God is saying My Truth is greater than your truth. And if we just believe that, we can walk out our calling with the LORD. The LORD with us makes all the difference!

That’s what took Gideon and used him to deliver Israel. It’s what took Moses (an aging shepherd who had killed a man and had a stuttering tongue) and used him to speak before Pharoah and lead God’s people out of Egypt. God’s empowering presence took Peter (a fisherman who had recently denied Jesus three times) and used him to preach the Good News to thousands – bearing much fruit. I could go on… we could consider Saul turned Paul. Scripture is full of examples of how God does not call the equipped – He equips the called. He takes us in the midst of our total inadequacy and adds His complete sufficiency and it equals more than enough!

I’m counting on it. Like Abraham, who was old and his body was dried up when God called him to be a father of a nation. I’m exercising all of the strength I have to believe God will do what He says and calls into existence what does not yet exist. (see Romans 4:17-18)

God’s presence changes everything! It has and is for me. There have been times when I have forgotten. Now, again, despite my circumstances, I am choosing to remember. To believe. And I am coming out from hiding and going forth in the strength that I have – accompanied by my Great, Big God – to do what He’s calling me to do.

Begin Where You Are... Even though it's messy!

I don’t know if you’re like me but I have struggled with the thoughts that of course God would take care of so and so – I mean look at them – they do everything right. Why wouldn’t He take care of them?! But me… I mean look at the mess of my life. How could the LORD use me?

The call of Gideon is such a rich passage. It brings me encouragement and comfort time and time again. In large part, it has been the catalyst for this blog. The LORD has used it to help give me the courage to do what I believe He is calling me to do. But before we get to that story, I think we need to take a look at the setting in which we find the people of Israel at the time when Gideon lived. The LORD called Gideon just where and how he was – right from the middle of the mess. Come and see…

The Israelites did what was evil in the sight of the LORD. So the LORD handed them over to Midian seven years, and they oppressed Israel. Because of Midian, the Israelites made hiding places for themselves in the mountains, caves and strongholds. Whenever the Israelites planted crops, the Midianites, Amalekites, and Qedemites came and attacked them. They encamped against them and destroyed the produce of the land, even as far as Gaza. They left nothing for Israel to eat, as well as no sheep, ox or donkey. For the Midianites came with their cattle and their tents like a great swarm of locusts. They and their camels were without number, and they entered the land to waste it. So Israel became poverty-stricken because of Midian, and the Israelites cried out to the LORD. Judges 6:1-6 Holman's Christian Standard Bible

Most of us have never faced bands of raiders but I bet you, like me, have no problem relating to problems and circumstances beyond our control swarming in around us and devouring our peace and joy. I love the way the English Standard Version (ESV) says, “And Israel was brought very low…” Think of it… this wasn’t just one individual down on their luck and falling into despair. This was fathers, brothers, sons, neighbours, their countrymen… as far as their eyes could see – life was not turning out as planned – for anyone. I think it’s safe to say that God’s people felt abandoned. I have too. And, just like them, I have made places for myself to hide… in hobbies, busyness, television, food, performance, formulas, rules… I’m sure I’ve tried more. The problem with these things is that they don’t address the real issue at hand and if we’re not careful – very careful – they quickly become strongholds in our lives.  They don’t leave us satisfied. They don’t improve our circumstances. They leave us desperate! But in the Israelites’ desperation, they finally did something right. They cried out to the LORD.

Victory always begins with a cry to God for help!

When the Israelites cried out to the LORD on account of the Midianites, the LORD sent a prophet to the people of Israel. And he said to them, “Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel: I led you up from Egypt and brought you out of the house of bondage. And I delivered you from the hand of the Egyptians and from the hand of all who oppressed you, and drove them out before you and gave you their land. And I said to you, ‘I am the LORD your God; you shall not fear the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell.’ But you have not obeyed My voice.” Judges 6:7-10 English Standard Version

God will tell you why you’re being oppressed if you ask Him. God had told the Israelites they were not to adopt the gods of those around them but they had not obeyed His voice. Isn’t that where we all get into trouble? The world that we live in has gods of success, fame, materialism, sex, “beauty”… This is by no means an exhaustive list! You want to know what the world idolizes? Just think for a moment. What’s on our televisions? Where do we spend our money?

I’ve come to think of the terms permissiveness and dismissiveness. These things creep in when we forget Who it is that we’re serving and everything that He has done for us. It’s when we give ourselves permission to relax or “bend” on the boundaries that the LORD has put into place for our good, we’re tempting disaster. It’s just one… a little bit won’t hurt you… it’s not really that bad… Then there’s dismissiveness, when we sense the counsel or conviction of the Spirit (trying to spare us hardship and heartache) and we flat out dismiss His words. That’s when we’re in the perfect position for a fall. That’s the perfect invitation for oppression.

We cannot profess to be God’s people and make room in our lives for other gods. God is a jealous God. We are to have no other gods before Him. In His ultimate kindness, He allows the circumstances that call us back to Him.

The LORD hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the broken-hearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:17-18 New Living Translation

LORD, may we come to our senses while we are in the places where You have driven us. May we and our children return to the LORD our God and obey You with all our heart and all our soul by doing everything You are giving us to do today – for You will have compassion on us – and we will truly live. Amen.

Becoming a Woman of Valour

I began this blog more than four years ago, and this is my first post.  That was never my plan.

I used to think I knew exactly what the blog would look like – it’s content, it’s pictures, even it’s color. I dreamed of all that I would write.  I had a plan for it and a plan for life.  

I was going to teach others how to live life as the Proverbs 31 woman – to become a woman of virtue – of valour.  I would do word studies, such as chayil, the Hebrew word translated virtue in Proverbs 31 and valour in places like Judges 6. I’d have told you it was a military term and teach you how to fight for your husbands, children and homes.  I would have imparted an exhausting list of do’s and don’ts, shoulds and shouldn’ts upon women, like me, who wanted to hear their families rise up and call them blessed.  That would be a wonderful blessing but it must never be our motivation.  

Now, four years later, the platform I thought I would stand on has disintegrated.  The formulas I lived by have shattered.  My world has been turned completely upside down through sinful choices of my own and others.  I now own a story that I used to jump through hoops to deny – especially to myself.  And the God that I had unknowingly tried to reduce to an equal sign at the end of my pretty equations has proven Himself bigger, better, more real, more powerful and fuller of grace and truth than I could have ever comprehended had life followed my plan.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD directs his steps…

The LORD works out everything for His own ends…

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails...

(Proverbs 16:9,4, 19:21)

So, Becoming a Woman of Valour is not about praying more, studying more, submitting better, fasting, blessing or any of the other good things that I would have written about in years past.  It’s bigger than that. Becoming a woman of valour is about answering God’s call right where you are.  In the midst of the pain-filled, fear-stirring, life-altering, disappointing circumstances you might be facing right now.  It’s receiving the strength and courage from The Almighty to believe that God is not done with you and that He is still good and has good plans.  Becoming a woman of valour is not easy, often gut-wrenching and always a call to be real.  I’m a work in progress, throwing myself at the mercy of the Master Potter, but I’m learning to find joy on the journey to becoming…

If life hasn’t turned out anything like the fairy tale you dreamed of, this blog is for you.  If you find yourself face down in the muck and mire and don’t know how to get back up, I’ve been there.  God has an answer.  If you hear the LORD call your name and you think “who me?” as you’re hiding in the winepress with Gideon - full of craven fear, join me.  Let’s rise up to be the mighty warriors we were created to be. 

“Thank You for the bitter things – 
they’ve been a friend to grace, 
they’ve driven me from paths of ease
to storm the secret place.” 
Florence White Willett

Who Am I?

I am just a girl who loves Jesus. I love Him more now than ever before. He’s the One who saw me, as I was, and loved me anyways.

Need to know a little more?

He reached down from on high and took hold of me and pulled me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too strong for me… He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because (for some reason I’ll never understand) He delighted in me. (Psalm 18:16-17, 19) As The Message puts it, He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved – surprised to be loved!

God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before Him. When I got my act together, He gave me a fresh start. Now I’m alert to God’s ways; I don’t take God for granted. Every day I review the ways He works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel (at least I’m starting to feel) put back together, and I’m watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes. (Psalm 18:19-24)